worried and depressed........

No, no, no, no I'm not about to eat the barrel of my gun. It's not like that at all. The wife and I had a big blow up Saturday evening and I'm still recovering from it. I worked a part time job Friday night. It's good money, very boring work providing security at a construction site in the same city I police in. Mostly involves sitting around, watching movies and goofing off on the internet. The wife worked Friday and was scheduled to work Saturday as well. I had been hoping that we would get to spend Saturday and Sunday together but that was before I found out what her work schedule was. Anyways, I get home Saturday morning and the wife is looking HAWT! Something about her in scrubs just pushes my buttons. I didn't want her to go and she knew it. I didn't like the fact that she had to work but I just let it go.

Well, I wake up that afternoon and she had sent me a text message saying that her parents were going to keep our son so we could go out to dinner. I guess I was in a bad mood that evening. I'm just sick and tired of not having any time with her. Granted, it's not totally her fault. I work nights and she works days so that causes problems automatically. We end up driving up to a nearby town and get into a screaming argument in the process. There are a bunch of issues and I'm not about to get into them here but we ended up talking about a lot of things. I promised to try and spend some more time with her and go to bed a bit later so we can have some time alone while our son is in school.

I plan on talking to my boss this week to ask about going back to days next rotation. I really enjoy night shifts but they aren't worth my marriage. But, I'm going to try staying up until 10am this morning and then going to bed. We'll see how things work out. I do love my wife but I'm starting to feel as if we are drifting apart. She wants me to stay on nights since I'm pretty happy there but we need to figure out how we can maintain our relationship in the process. We're planning on going away for a weekend in early March and that will help. We've both been working very hard building careers and paying bills. My oldest stepson gets married in June and will hopefully be moving out then. If we can only get the other stepson off to college then things will be pretty sweet.

We've been discussing having another baby but I'm not sure where that is going. Our son is very intelligent and full of life. He has become obsessed with wanting a baby brother AND a baby sister. I thought it was cute and have been telling my wife all the things he's been saying about it. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

My wife texts me the other night while I'm at work and has decided the exact day that she wants to get pregnant. This being so she can schedule the approximate date of birth so she'll have the summer off work and won't have to take kids to/from school on top of dealing with the baby. Well, this issue came up in the argument and she apparently feels like I'm pressuring her for another baby. So, I'm just going to leave it alone and not mention it. I'm not sure if that's the best approach but it's the best I can come up with right now.

Anyways, I'm back to work tonight. Hopefully we'll get some bad folks off the street and help some folks. Y'all have fun and be careful. I'm going to be keeping my head down at work as well as at home.

I'm back!!

Okay, sorry about the lack of posts. There's been a lot going on here in my world. We've been battling illnesses, the weather and life in general. My father came into town recently for a visit. Ordinarily for those of you out there, this might be perceived as a happy event. However for me, it's usually a stress-filled weekend of me wanting to order him to leave us alone and never darken our doorstep again. Of course, I never do because of my son. I feel that, as much as I dislike my father for what he has done in the past, my son still has a right to know him. Combine that with the fact that my father is some kind of emotional eunuch and you START to get an idea of what that whole situation is like.

My distaste for my father began after he and my mother separated. He was making her life hell and I was getting rather sick and tired of watching my mom break down into tears every time he called on the phone. I pretty much refused to speak to him and hung up on him whenever I answered one of his calls. He has been pretty much non-existent in my life since I was a teenager. He wasn't invited to my high school graduation, wasn't invited when the wife and I got married and wasn't invited to see my son after he was born. He requested to come see my son after about a year and I really agonized over the decision. My in-laws live directly across the street from us so my son has daily contact with them and they are a BIG part of his life. I didn't really want to expose my family to the person I despise most in this world. After talking things over with my wife, we decided to allow it.

This has evolved into the (usually) annual Creepy Grandpa Visit. My father drives down on a Friday, we meet him for dinner that night and then do something with my son on Saturday. This is followed by him coming for dinner at my in-laws' house that evening and then another visit Sunday afternoon before he departs back home. He stays in a hotel and that's the way I like it. On top of all this, he leaves strange comments on Facebook for my wife and I. Nothing really out of line but things that make you say "WTF?". We hardly ever get any message thanking us for the visit and then Creepy Grandpa fades away into my son's distant memory until the next time.

I end up being stressed and edgy all weekend because I don't want him here and it just makes life difficult in general. He seems like he's trying to mend things with me but I really don't have a clue about where to begin. My brother seems like he's going to be a screw-up for the rest of his life and my sister is still crazier than a shithouse rat so it seems like I'm the only kid who ended up somewhat decent. Anyways, he's gone and things are back to status quo.

In other news, I'm busy breaking in a new (to me) partner at work. My new partner is an okay guy. We're still getting used to working together and that's going to be happening for a while. He's having some problems with motivation so that's something I'm trying to work on. We were out working on the interstate the other night and I was steadily stopping cars but he wouldn't do much. I ended up catching a DUI about 2 hours before the end of our shift so I ended up getting off late by the time all the paperwork was done. Otherwise, things have been nice lately. I'm just relaxing here in my chair while the dog does her thing outside and I'll be headed to bed in a couple of hours. Hope things are going well for whomever ends up reading this.

Happy New Year!!!!

Well, just got back from work after going in for some OT on New Year's eve. Working in a small town, we usually only have 2 officers on at a time. However, we wanted to do a road check to try and get some DUIs so that required some extra assistance. Myself and another officer ended up coming in so that we could cover the road check and cover the expected extra traffic coming through the city. Things started off right just as I was coming in about 10pm. One of the other officers stopped a car for running a stop sign and ended up getting 2 arrests out of it. He arrested the driver for DUI and he also had a warrant for his arrest. One of the passengers also had a warrant so he got a free ride as well. The third passenger was released and the driver's father got the vehicle.

After those 2 were booked and transported to jail, we went and got set up for our road check. These aren't very complicated. We ask for driver's licenses and insurance cards which people are required by state law to have in their possession while operating a motor vehicle. We ensure that those documents are valid, glance at the tag and they're on their way. The kicker is that sometimes things aren't always on the up and up. We hadn't been set up for more than 10 minutes when on of the other officers got a car with no insurance. The driver was promptly cited for the infraction and the car was towed away. A short time later, a car pulled up and the officer could smell the odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle. Surprise, surprise!!!

After pulling all 5 people out of the car, nobody wanted to admit to having any marijuana. One of the passengers kept proclaiming how he was on federal probation and wouldn't have anything to do with marijuana. Of course he was on probation for possession of Crack cocaine with intent to distribute. So, we decide to search the car and end up finding 33 individually wrapped baggies full of marijuana. Fun times, fun times. After talking to the 5 occupants of the vehicle, one of the passengers claims the weed and is promptly arrested, thereby saving us from having to arrest all 5 of them. My buddy Andy ends up transporting the guy for booking and then to the jail while we continue the road check. We decide to wrap things up and head back to the PD for a break while we wait on Andy to get back.

We're sitting at the PD waiting on the coffee to finish brewing when we hear Andy on the radio advising that he hit a deer on the way back from the jail. So we haul ass up to check on him and find his car lying in the ditch with a very badly injured and very much alive deer lying in the roadway. This deer is pretty badly hurt with 2-3 broken legs but still hell bent on getting away after 3 more police cars pull up so she starts stumbling down the road, bumping against the door of my car as I'm trying to get out. I end up having to pull my backup weapon to put the deer down and end it's suffering. Andy was fine but his car is pretty bad. He was mainly just mad since he just got it back from the shop after hitting another deer (which I also had to put down) about 2 weeks ago. I was laughing about it and told him that every time we work together, we end up tearing up a car.

Anyways, I finally got home about an hour ago and it's almost time for me to get to bed. My wife is getting ready to go to work and my son is going to spend the day with his grandparents so I can sleep before my regular shift tonight. Y'all have fun and have a wonderful new year!