worried and depressed........

No, no, no, no I'm not about to eat the barrel of my gun. It's not like that at all. The wife and I had a big blow up Saturday evening and I'm still recovering from it. I worked a part time job Friday night. It's good money, very boring work providing security at a construction site in the same city I police in. Mostly involves sitting around, watching movies and goofing off on the internet. The wife worked Friday and was scheduled to work Saturday as well. I had been hoping that we would get to spend Saturday and Sunday together but that was before I found out what her work schedule was. Anyways, I get home Saturday morning and the wife is looking HAWT! Something about her in scrubs just pushes my buttons. I didn't want her to go and she knew it. I didn't like the fact that she had to work but I just let it go.

Well, I wake up that afternoon and she had sent me a text message saying that her parents were going to keep our son so we could go out to dinner. I guess I was in a bad mood that evening. I'm just sick and tired of not having any time with her. Granted, it's not totally her fault. I work nights and she works days so that causes problems automatically. We end up driving up to a nearby town and get into a screaming argument in the process. There are a bunch of issues and I'm not about to get into them here but we ended up talking about a lot of things. I promised to try and spend some more time with her and go to bed a bit later so we can have some time alone while our son is in school.

I plan on talking to my boss this week to ask about going back to days next rotation. I really enjoy night shifts but they aren't worth my marriage. But, I'm going to try staying up until 10am this morning and then going to bed. We'll see how things work out. I do love my wife but I'm starting to feel as if we are drifting apart. She wants me to stay on nights since I'm pretty happy there but we need to figure out how we can maintain our relationship in the process. We're planning on going away for a weekend in early March and that will help. We've both been working very hard building careers and paying bills. My oldest stepson gets married in June and will hopefully be moving out then. If we can only get the other stepson off to college then things will be pretty sweet.

We've been discussing having another baby but I'm not sure where that is going. Our son is very intelligent and full of life. He has become obsessed with wanting a baby brother AND a baby sister. I thought it was cute and have been telling my wife all the things he's been saying about it. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

My wife texts me the other night while I'm at work and has decided the exact day that she wants to get pregnant. This being so she can schedule the approximate date of birth so she'll have the summer off work and won't have to take kids to/from school on top of dealing with the baby. Well, this issue came up in the argument and she apparently feels like I'm pressuring her for another baby. So, I'm just going to leave it alone and not mention it. I'm not sure if that's the best approach but it's the best I can come up with right now.

Anyways, I'm back to work tonight. Hopefully we'll get some bad folks off the street and help some folks. Y'all have fun and be careful. I'm going to be keeping my head down at work as well as at home.